I don’t have low confidence I just have this firm belief that no guy will ever think I am “right” for them. As if I am “too much” this or “too little” that and it just sucks.
Being completely unable to help someone you love is one of the worst feelings in the world.
There is always going to be a part of you that is scared. There will always be a part of you doubting yourself. There will always be the inherent fear that you are not good enough. But when it happens you just push through. If it is late at night you go to sleep. If it is before a big moment you focus on what’s ahead. Stop spending your life being afraid of failure. The only failure I believe there is, is the failure of not trying. Just do. Because if you try, you learn. And life is about learning. Learn as much as you can while you can and remember that each day is a blessing.
Maybe I was supposed to do more, be more. But would that “more” ever be enough? Would I ever reach the point where you could love me? I couldn’t take that chance. I couldn’t keep hoping that MAYBE on day you would love me. Life is too short to wait around for love.
I may fall a step behind today but tomorrow I will make three steps forward. Believing in myself more than I ever have before, and I can honestly say it is making me a better person. And for that, I am thankful.
I want so much more than to just love you. I want to grow with you. I want to hope with you. I want to cry with you. I want to laugh with you. I want to live my life with you. I want love to be a part of everything we do from creating a home together to getting sick together. I want every memory I have to be with you because life is too short to spend another waking moment without you.
I want to be a person who is not afraid to say “I love you.”
Sometimes I just find it impossible to understand how we can live in this world filled with so much beauty and laughter at the same time as we live in this world filled with so much pain and anger.